Saturday, November 13, 2010

Undercover November-lovers

Empty facilitator, fuzz-faced fuzz band, out in the sun as late as you can. It's dark before dinner, like you'd go home in winter and the lights are out outside but you're eating in.

Second seat forever, camera hands, but I didn't take what I should have. Little things that never could send me home have me back in the van, off to endless office parks and cheating in apartment lots.

I want to feel what you're feeling, and how close and how long and how far gone. I want so far out of this town, so high off the rise, so low and slow. I want to grind it back 'til no one had to decide. But I'm crying like I can't breathe, and too afraid to sleep, crushed out with kids who never came with.

When Cassidy comes back I'm going to reregret all over again. We'll wake up with ego like the Apollo Belvedere, then hooker's breakfast and sharing the shower. We're lovin' in a haze of smoke, nectar in our hands, always washing the sheets. In dreams I'm sure I'm everything you say.

November, December, watch the water wear out the paint. I won't even last. If I could write to you all the lines would be thin and chipped. If you wrote me, I'd write you right back.

Lie down in our external lung,
like sleeping in Ophelia's arms,
as once she was held before
they changed her name and
  if you could cradle
  your friends as babes
would you know them now?

Here comes my baby, here she comes now,
And it comes as no surprise to me, with another guy
Here comes my baby, here she comes now,
Walking with a love, with a love that's all so fine,
Never could be mine, no matter how I try

- Cat Stevens, "Here Comes My Baby"